Dealing with L's

Ever get to that point in life where all you can see in front of you is bleak, a darkness if you will. A hell on Earth if you will; chances are you've encountered this outcome several times it on a continuous basis if you're like me.

No matter what choices you make, what fixes you try, no matter how safe you played it the outcome was the same everytime: disaster.
While this may seem like an exaggeration, to you in that moment it's every bit of the catastrophe you precieve it to be. Now whether or not you chalk this up to "God's" trials or whatever you believe in is up to you. But I know that right now making a new game plan is at the forefront of mine. Figuring out how to get out of this and make this stepping stone of sorts has become my priority, and I'd like to let everyone else going through their own life disaster to hold on, and set in motion a plan like you wouldn't believe.

As they say -
        "If you're going through hell....Keep going."

Stumbling

While I wait for the internet to work with me, I had some thoughts....

What am I doing right now?
Is this the extent of what I'm to be in life?
When will things look up?

Questions I know that numerous people have asked themselves and others. But as I sat here, trying to complete some last minute work, I began to reflect. What have I truly done to progress towards that dream I had started with sonlomg so?
Just what the fuck have I done to get even a little bit closer to what I wanted--very little.

But then the more I thought, the more toiled and tried to find reasons I didn't make it I only came to realize that I was only furthering myself from my goal. How ma y times have we said we were going to start onl y to find new excuses not to? Or even worse talked ourselves into a completely different path. One we knew that would only lead to dissatisfaction.

I refuse, let me start again.

No longer will I sit here and list reasons why it will be hard and focus on that. Sure I'm behind the curve, but I will only focus on the road ahead. One step at a time.

Today's Somg: No Answer - G.Soul

Long Road Ahead

I remember long ago I promised myself I'd have a blog up and running, with a bunch of fans. I'd have words that people cared about and wanted t o read. Maybe I'd be a conversation piece one day. I had such big expectations.

So here I am, let's say give or take four years later, trying yet again to find what it is I want. So instead of writing about things--I've decided to write about me (and the things I like). I think this will be a good change of pace and might help me work through some things. So for who stay and want some mildly entertaining inner thoughts to mill through I welcome you to my everything.